If pornography is increasingly cruel and degrading, why is it increasingly commonplace instead of more marginalized? In a society that purports to be civilized, wouldn’t we expect most people to reject sexual material that becomes ever more dismissive of the humanity of women? How do we explain the simultaneous appearance of more, and increasingly more intense, ways to humiliate women sexually and the rising popularity of the films that present those activities?
As is often the case, this paradox can be resolved by recognizing that one of the assumptions is wrong. Here, it’s the assumption that US society routinely rejects cruelty and degradation. In fact, the United States is a nation that has no serious objection to cruelty and degradation. Think of the way we accept the use of brutal weapons in war that kill civilians, or the way we accept the death penalty, or the way we accept crushing economic inequality. There is no paradox in the steady mainstreaming of an intensely cruel pornography. This is a culture with a well-developed legal regime that generally protects individuals’ rights and freedoms, and yet it also is a strikingly cruel culture in the way it accepts brutality and inequality. The pornographers are not a deviation from the norm. Their presence in the mainstream shouldn’t be surprising, because they represent mainstream values: the logic of domination and subordination that is central to patriarchy, hyper-patriotic nationalism, white supremacy, and a predatory corporate capitalism.-
Robert Jensen (via aloofshahbanou)
and america’s history, america being built on the rape of black & indigenous & asian women
The rage of the oppressed is never the same as the rage of the privileged.-
bell hooks (via smallbodies)
To all “egalitarians”
(Source: esteemsters, via lesbipocalypse)
One day you told me that you owned
My heart and all my organs.
You told me it was yours
And only yours the way the
Sun, Stars, and moon belong to
You told me my blood was yours
And I told you it was inside of
Me because your breath and
Precious words made me want to
Keep it within me.
One day, the presence I was used to
Crumbled and turned into ashes in front of me. I still remember you told me my heart, organs and blood were yours.
My blood has been feeling like the seven seas is stuck in me.
I cannot breath, I’ve been contemplating on taking my organs out of me, and spilling my blood out because it doesn’t belong to me or anyone. It belongs to you and only you.- Alexa Evangelista, you you you (via vodkakilledtheteens)
We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”
I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.
Let our scars fall in love.- Galway Kinnell (via observando)
Here is a list of the things you have not been able to forgive:
the soft frown of your belly superfluous and unwanted
as aborted cells, the tight sardine-press of your thighs
that your mother said would keep out dangers,
the silver lines indicating places in your skin
where you have stretched yourself with greed, the sin that aches
in your teeth like a lie when you eat -
think dirt under your fingernails, think stains
you cannot wash out of your hair even with bleach
and vinegar. Vinegar. Think of how it is sour
in your mouth when you eat it with your favourite
dumplings, was sour on Christ’s tongue when they fed
him the sponge to drink from. Think of how that taste is replicated
when you tuck your finger into the folds of your throat
and dig up all the minced food. Think of how clean
it feels to finally be empty and stay empty, only water
transparent like glass inside you, even though you are not
sure that your guts are incapable of turning that into wine
to poison your body with more weight.
Run twelve miles around your neighbourhood- Confession, Jollin Tan (via vapourise)
counting fifty ‘Hail Mary’s. This is your penance.
A vertical line flashing on my screen
On off on off
whispering for me to write this feeling
This dreadful feeling that I cant even describe
its such a part of me that feels like home
That shelters me from the illusion of dreams
You cant have dreams when you feel…
You know, when it works, love is pretty amazing. It’s not overrated. There’s a reason for all those songs.- Sarah Dessen, This Lullaby (via observando)